Ashes to Ashes, series two, episode five.
Writer: Julie Rutterford
Director: Philip John

xxxx

Alex's flat, and she's sleeping on the sofa again; the television on but showing nothing but static. The television suddenly starts showing KEITH HARRIS and ORVILLE. Evidently its possessed by demonic influences and should be exorcised immediately...

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
Marvellous magic. Did it, did it make you feel happy?

ALEX wakes up.

ORVILLE on the TV:
Not really.

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
Why not?

ORVILLE on the TV:
'Cos I'm- I'm a bit sad today.

AUDIENCE on TV:
Awww.

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
Oh, Orville, what's the matter?

ORVILLE on the TV:
I, I, I miser-bubble.

AUDIENCE ON TV:
Awww.

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
You're miserable?

ORVILLE on the TV:
Yes.

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
Why?

ORVILLE on the TV:
'Cos, 'cos, I, I, I really worried about Alex. I think she's going to die.

ALEX gets up and goes closer to the television.

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
Don't worry, she's not going to die. She's at the hospital.

AUDIENCE on TV:
Yay!

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
When she arrived there, there were two beautiful bouquets of flowers for her, weren't there?

ORVILLE on the TV:
I know.

KEITH HARRIS on the TV:
Didn't that make you happy?

ORVILLE on the TV:
No.

AUDIENCE on TV laughs.

ALEX:
No, you should be happy.

The television picture returns to static; ALEX gives it a thump. I'd have given a thump for having Orville on it, personally, but to each their own...

ALEX:
You should be happy. I-I've made it to the hospital. Orville, come back.



The Quattro is in pursuit of a French lorry, newly-acquired blue light flashing, horn sounding. Eventually the lorry pulls over and the Quattro pulls up behind it.

MUSIC: 'Funeral Pyre' by The Jam

# We feast on flesh and drink on blood
# Live by fear and despise love in a crisis
# What with today's high prices
# Bring some paper and bring some wood
# Bring what's left of all your love for the fire #

ALEX:
I've told you, I'm having nothing to do with this.

# We'll watch the flames grow higher! #

GENE:
You... girl.

# But if you get too burnt... #

GENE and RAY go to the boot to reveal a struggling gagged and bound miscreant. CHRIS, meanwhile, goes to distract the driver of the lorry.

LE DRIVER:
Bonjour.

CHRIS:
Bonjour, monsieur. Avez-vous un licence?

GENE and RAY carry the struggling man and dump him in the back of the lorry.

# In the funeral pyre
# We'll watch the flames grow higher #

LE DRIVER:
Et voilá.

# But if you get too burnt - you can't come back home #

GENE:
Now, go and be a pain in the derriere for the bloody gendarmerie. 'Cos we are sick of the sight of you, got it?

# In the funeral pyre #

RAY:
Bon voyage, scumbag.

The lorry drives away and GENE, RAY and CHRIS return to the Quattro. CHRIS has a ciggie while RAY indulges in literary pursuits with a copy of the Daily Mirror.

ALEX:
Well, I hope you're all proud of yourselves. (to CHRIS about his smoking) It lowers your sperm count, you know. It's been medically proven.

RAY:
(whispers) That's bollocks.

ALEX:
Shaz did say that having babies was pretty high on her agenda.

RAY:
Have you seen this, Guv? It's all about Mac and Jarvis. They might as well point the finger at every one of us.

GENE takes the paper; the headline reads 'Police Corruption Rife? Shocking revelations may just be the tip of the iceberg'

GENE:
Why can't these brain dead piss heads have a go at somebody else?

CHRIS:
Yeah, like mime artists.

RAY:
Some kid even gobbed in my face this morning, just 'cos I was a copper. Mime artists?

CHRIS:
Yeah. All that...

CHRIS mimes pulling a rope - I think.

CHRIS:
Get a job!

ALEX:
D'you think the press know something about Operation Rose?

GENE:
Listen, if there's any digging to be done on Operation Rose, it'll be done by us, not them. In the meantime we need something to shut them up, like a bloody big collar.

VIV over the radio:
Burglary at number two, Stanley Road, Guv. You still near there?

ALEX:
Stanley Road?

GENE into the radio:
Give it to plod, Viv.

ALEX:
It's Bryan. Well, come on, let's go!

GENE:
Well, who's Bryan?

ALEX:
It's Pete's dad! Just start the car!

GENE:
Who's Pete?

ALEX:
He's Molly's father. We've got to get to the Drakes'.

GENE:
The Drakes? Oh, don't tell me they have the misfortune to be related to you?

ALEX:
Oh, this is going to be seriously weird.

GENE:
That'll make a nice change.

The Quattro roars off down some series one footage.



Opening credits:

ALEX voiceover:
My name is Alex Drake. I've been shot and that bullet's taken me back in time. Now I'm lost in 1982 and all I can do is fight, and search and stay alive. Because somehow, I will find a way home.



The Quattro pulls upside a semi-detached house, an ambulance outside. ALEX runs on ahead to see BRYAN DRAKE being helped out of the house into the ambulance by ambulance men and MARJORIE DRAKE; he's suffered a head wound and makes no response.

ALEX:
Bryan. Are you okay?

AMBULANCE MAN:
All right, watch the step.

ALEX:
Too late.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
We'll follow on. Bryan?

ALEX:
He can't hear you. I'm so sorry. If I'd thought instead of being so... caught up with everything, I could have done something. I'm...

ALEX embraces MARJORIE DRAKE, much to latter's surprise.

CHRIS:
It's all gone a bit Martina Navrati- er, that tennis bird, innit?

ALEX:
I'm so sorry.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Who are you?

GENE:
Police, love. She takes her community relations very seriously.



Interior of the Drakes' house; items have been overturned/broken and there's blood on the rug.

CHRIS:
Might be some dabs on some of this stuff, Guv.

GENE:
Leave it for forensics, it's their job. Come on, we're going.

ALEX:
Well, we can't just leave her. Marjorie, we'll do everything we can to help you, won't we, Inspector Hunt?

GENE sighs.

GENE:
D'you know what's missing, Mrs Drake?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Money, jewellry, and a necklace that I was wearing. Bryan tried to stop the man. In the struggle he was pushed. Hit his head on that table there.

GENE:
How much money was taken?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
About a thousand pounds.

PETER DRAKE appears in the doorway, holding a kitten.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Bryan's never trusted banks.

KITTEN:
Mew.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Peter, love, could you put Molly out for me?

KITTEN:
Mew!

PETER DRAKE:
Yeah, okay. Come on, Molls.

PETER DRAKE leaves to go in the back garden; ALEX follows.

ALEX:
Oi! How could you? How could you abandon Molly like that?

PETER DRAKE:
What? I wouldn't abandon her.

ALEX:
Yeah? Well then, how come when she's six months old you just bugger off never to be seen again?

PETER DRAKE:
Has anyone ever told you, you're a bit weird.

ALEX:
And has anybody ever told you that you can't go round accusing Detective Inspectors of being weird, especially ones who are really pissed off? How old are you, Pete?

PETER DRAKE:
Fourteen. And it's Peter.

ALEX:
Oh, yes, sorry. Sorry, 'Peter'. Look at you. You're almost cute.

PETER DRAKE:
Cheers.

ALEX:
Yeah, I said almost.

PETER DRAKE:
Why are you giving me such a hard time. Shouldn't you be trying to find the burglar?

ALEX:
Where were you when you're dad was attacked?

PETER DRAKE:
I was at school. Mum called and they told me to come home. When I got back here she was crying.

ALEX:
You know, you're going to have to be really strong for her. Think you can do that?

PETER DRAKE:
Do my best.

ALEX (unconvinced):
Yeah.

ALEX returns to the house.

MUSIC: 'Going Back To My Roots' by Odyssey

# Zipping up my boots
# Going back to my roots
# Yeah #



Front hall of the Drakes' house.

GENE:
We're going to let forensics deal with it now, Mrs Drake.

There's a knock at the door.

GAYNOR MASON:
Hola?

GAYNOR MASON enters. Her appearance is striking and does not go unnoticed by the gentlemen of the team, particularly RAY, who's getting an eyeful.

GAYNOR MASON:
Marge? What's with the police car outside?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
We've been burgled. Bryan's in hospital.

GAYNOR MASON:
Oh my God.

GENE:
And, er, who might you be?

GAYNOR MASON:
Gaynor Mason, make-up round.

ALEX:
Spanish?

GAYNOR MASON:
Sorry?

ALEX:
Hola?

GAYNOR MASON:
Spanish boyfriend. Ex. Found him doing a bit more than the fandango with my best friend, so I told him where to shove his castanets. Is Bryan all right?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
We don't know yet. I've got to go and see him. Could you look after Peter?

GAYNOR MASON:
Yeah.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Only if it's no trouble.

GAYNOR MASON:
Least I could do, Marge. (to RAY) Hope you're going to keep those baby blues peeled for him, officer?

GAYNOR MASON carries on through into the body of the house.

ALEX:
What did he look like?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Er, quite tall. London accent. Not that he spoke much, just asked us to keep quiet.

ALEX:
What about his face?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
He wore a mask. Of Margaret Thatcher.

GENE and CHRIS in unison:
Metal Mickey.



Scene: a toilet bowl. MICKEY DILLON is enjoying a classic head-in-the-toilet moment courtesy of GENE.

MICKEY DILLON:
Bubble bubble, blub, gub, etc.

GENE hauls him out.

MICKEY DILLON:
I told you, I ain't done nothing.

GENE:
You're the only one who wears a Thatcher mask on the job.

MICKEY DILLON:
I'm telling you, it wasn't me.

GENE throws him out of the cubicle against the wall. RAY is also present, in body if not in mind.

GENE:
Raymondo.

RAY:
Oh, right.

RAY delivers one punch to MICKEY DILLON's stomach and retires.

MICKEY DILLON:
Ooof. Urh.

GENE:
Are you ill?

RAY:
No, why?

GENE:
You only hit him once.

RAY:
Sorry, Guv.

RAY precedes to bounce MICKEY DILLON round the Gents until further notice. ALEX comes in. Do they have separate lavatory facilities for actual use as a toilet, one wonders...?

MICKEY DILLON:
Uhh. Ahh, ahh.

ALEX:
Didn't you say he's got a metal plate in his head?

GENE:
He has. With any luck he might be picking up that new channel.

CHRIS comes out of a cubicle. Evidently no seperate facilities then...

CHRIS:
I've only seen that Countdown on it.

MICKEY DILLON:
Ooof. Oh.

CHRIS:
Proper ambulance-chaser telly. It'll never last.

MICKEY DILLON:
Urgh. Uhh.

GENE:
Of course it won't. TV in the afternoons? For students with greasy hair and the clinically insane.

MICKEY DILLON:
Ahhh. Ooof.

CHRIS:
And my Auntie Irene. Mind you, she is insane. She thinks she's married to Malcolm Muggeridge.

MICKEY DILLON:
Ah. Ooof. Urh.

ALEX:
Um, I hate to interrupt, but there's a man over there being beaten to a pulp. 'Scuse me...

MICKEY DILLON:
Urh. Urh.

ALEX hauls RAY off MICKEY DILLON.

ALEX:
How many fingers am I holding up?

MICKEY DILLON whimpers.

GENE:
Don't ask him difficult questions, Drake. He'd have coughed by now. Well, this has been about as useful as a new pair of slippers for Douglas Bader. Let's get back to some real work, shall we?

GENE leaves, ALEX hurrying in his wake. RAY sticks the boot into MICKEY DILLON one more time, but his heart's not in it, poor lamb.

MICKEY DILLON:
Ooof.

RAY:
I've had it with this shit.



GENE and ALEX are doing some walkin' and talkin' down the corridors again.

ALEX:
You can't be sure it's not him.

GENE:
Oh, I can.

ALEX:
Look, he's the only one who wears a mask like Margaret Th-

GENE:
Forget it.

ALEX:
Look, this case will effect people for years to come. That might not matter to you, but it matters to me.

GENE:
The only thing that matters right now is us getting our headline, not fannying about with a case that plod should be dealing with.

MUSIC: 'Atomic' by Blondie



The hospital, and ALEX finds PETER DRAKE hanging around in the corridor.

ALEX:
You been to see your dad?

PETER DRAKE:
Seen him. He was asleep.

ALEX:
Well, he might be awake now.

PETER DRAKE:
I hate hospitals.

ALEX:
I know. That's a football shirt, isn't it?

PETER DRAKE:
Yeah. Gaynor gave it to me. She might take me to see a match some time.

ALEX:
Oh, really? Even though you hate football? Going 'cos you fancy her, are you?

PETER DRAKE:
No, no, I don't.

ALEX:
That's where she gets it from.

PETER DRAKE:
Sorry?

ALEX:
When you lie you always tend to look down. I know a little girl who does that.

PETER DRAKE:
No, I don't.

ALEX:
Heh.

PETER DRAKE:
How comes you seem to know so much about me?

ALEX:
Female intuition.

ALEX leaves to go to the ward where BRYAN DRAKE is; MARJORIE DRAKE is with him.

ALEX:
Sorry, don't mean to intrude. I, er, just wanted to see how he was.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
He's very woozy, after the op. (whispers) There's a chance it might be permanent damage to his hearing. Oh. I keep doing that. I forget he can't hear.

ALEX:
Would you like me to sit with him?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Well, he wouldn't expect you to.

ALEX:
No, I'd like to.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Thanks. I won't be long.

MARJORIE DRAKE leaves and ALEX sits by BRYAN DRAKE's bed.

ALEX:
I know you can't hear me, Bryan. And I can't change what's happened, I'm kind of learning that now. But I want you to know that you will cope with this. You know, when Pete left me with Molly, you were the one person who made me believe that it wasn't the end of my life, the end of my career. And this isn't the end of your career either. You know, you once told me that taking up painting again was the best thing you ever did. I've still got the painting you did of Molly. Somewhere. You are going to be such a fantastic grandad. And I won't rest until I found out who did this to you.



CID. GENE is holding up a copy of The Sun with the headline 'Time To Vet The Met?'

GENE:
Right, if anyone here is anything less than squeaky clean, you pack your things and get the hell out. The shit sticks to one of us, it sticks to all of us, and I, for one, have had enough. It stops here. I'm the sheriff, I say we keep it clean. Got it?

A weary chorus of 'Yes, Guv'.

GENE:
Good. We need a decent headline.

ALEX:
Now, what else do we know about Mickey Dillon?

SHAZ:
He used the mask on two other jobs, ma'am. Same area.

ALEX:
Good, Shaz. So he's local. Did he know the Drakes?

SHAZ:
Um...

ALEX:
Am I talking to myself?

RAY:
Did somebody say something then?

ALEX:
It's not funny, Carling. A man has been seriously injured and we have to find out who's done it. Now I wish I could remember all the details, but I can't, so I need your help. And whether you like it or not, Metal Mickey's the only lead that we've got.

GENE:
What you doing, Drake?

ALEX:
I'm trying to solve a crime, Guv. It is what I'm paid for.

GENE:
Chris.

CHRIS is tapping a pencil, miles away. GENE lobs something at his head.

GENE:
Oi.

CHRIS:
What?

GENE:
What's up with you? You got a watch(?) stuck up your arse?

RAY:
Given up in the fags, hasn't he? Poof. He'll crack by tonight, I've got a fiver on it.

GENE:
Tenner says he'll crack before. (to CHRIS) Have you listened to anything I just said?

CHRIS:
Yes, Guv.

VIV appears.

VIV:
Dabs are in on that robbery at the Drakes', Guv.

GENE:
It's not our case, Viv.

VIV:
You might want to reconsider.

GENE grabs the report and reads it.

GENE:
This is a wind-up?

VIV:
No, Guv. They're his.

ALEX:
Who's?

GENE:
George Staines.

A chorus of 'What?', 'You're joking' and 'Get out' from CID.

RAY:
Can't be.

CHRIS:
No way.

SHAZ:
THE George Staines?

ALEX:
Well, isn't this where you usually all run out shouting 'Let's get the bastard'?

GENE:
Except the bastard in question has been six feet under for two years.

ALEX:
Well then these can't be his dabs.

GENE:
Exactly. D'you know what? Looks like we might just have got ourselves a headline.



ELSIE STAINES' house and ALEX and GENE are making tea in her kitchen, calling out to ELSIE in the other room.

GENE:
You got any biccies, Mrs Staines?

ELSIE STAINES:
Homemade flapjacks. In the biscuit tin.

GENE opens the biscuit tin to find the flapjacks nestling on a wad of five pound notes. He and ALEX exchange a glance.



GENE and ALEX join ELSIE STAINES in her living room where the gas fire is on at full blast. GENE brings the flapjacks; ALEX the tea.

GENE:
Blimey, it's like the Sahara in here, Elsie.

ELSIE STAINES:
Yeah, smashing, innit?

ALEX:
Here we are.

ALEX hands across a mug of tea and picks up a photograph of a young boy.

ALEX:
How old was George in this one?

ELSIE STAINES:
Eleven. Little bugger. Never smiled in any of his school photos. Hated the place.

ALEX:
Was he bullied?

ELSIE STAINES:
No, he felt he never fitted in.

GENE helps himself to a flapjack.

ELSIE STAINES:
George's favourites.

GENE:
Mmm. What, you still make them for him, even though he's not here?

ELSIE STAINES:
Used to sit where you are now. Playing all the old songs, polishing off the flapjacks and me signing along. 'Don't fence me in', he used to love that one.

GENE:
Well, you make him sound like a little angel, Elsie.

ELSIE STAINES:
Sometimes it's like he's right here with me now. Hum. Daft, isn't it? When he's brown bread.

ALEX:
Did, er, did George know the Drakes at all? Stanley Road, a couple of streets away from here.

ELSIE STAINES:
He might have done.

ALEX:
Marjorie and Bryan?

ELSIE STAINES:
Oh, I'm, I'm not very good with names, dear. I'd know them if I saw them.

ALEX:
It's just that something a little bit strange has happened. Um, George's fingerprints were found over at the Drakes'. They'd been burgled.

ELSIE STAINES:
How did they get there? Must be a mistake. Much taken?

GENE:
'Bout a grand.

ELSIE STAINES:
Ooh.

ALEX:
Mmm. Mr Drake was quite badly hurt. He's a lovely, lovely man.

ELSIE STAINES:
Oh, poor sod.

GENE:
You got any savings, Elsie?

ELSIE STAINES:
On my pension? Excuse me. Pebble Mill's on and I never miss.

ELSIE STAINES makes to get up.

GENE:
Just one other thing, Elsie, love. It was you that identified George's body, wasn't it?

ELSIE STAINES:
No, dear. It was Metal Mickey.

ELSIE STAINES goes to switch on the television.



GENE and ALEX leave ELSIE STAINES' house, GENE already on the police radio.

GENE into the radio:
Right, get me Metal Mickey and the rest of the Staines gang back in, now.

CHRIS over the radio:
Roger, Guv.

GENE:
Bastard stitched me up like a kipper.

ALEX:
Even if Staines is alive...

GENE:
Oh, that slimy bastard's alive, all right. Must have stashed his money in Elsie's biscuit tin.

ALEX:
Doesn't mean to say that he burgled the Drakes. I mean, we're talking about someone who doesn't think twice about knee-capping people.

GENE:
Bryan Drake didn't exactly escape with just a scratch, did he?

ALEX:
No, but it's not Staines' MO. I mean... Look, if it was a well-known gangster or something, I'd remember.

GENE:
You'd 'remember'?

ALEX:
Yeah. Look, just trust me, it can't be George Staines.

GENE:
Well, does it say who it can be in your crystal ball, Madame Fruitcake?

ALEX gets in the car and slams the door.



Station corridor, and a line up of disreputable types are being quizzed by RAY and CHRIS.

RAY:
George Staines. Who's seen him? Come on, someone's seen him. Someone's hiding him. You've all worked for him.

GANG MEMBER:
He snuffed it.

RAY:
Ah, but has he? Come on, someone speak up.

RAY gets a smallish crop of five pound notes out of his pocket.

RAY:
It's worth a few quid.

GANG MEMBER:
Last bloke what said anything about George Staines was him.

The GANG MEMBER nods to the man next to him, who's on crutches and minus the lower half of his left leg.

GANG MEMBER:
He could have played for Millwall and all. Couldn't you, Charlie?

CHRIS:
He still could.

RAY laughs; the GANG MEMBER moves threateningly.

CHRIS:
Joke. It's a joke.



GENE and ALEX return to the station, only to be intercepted by VIV.

VIV:
Guv. Commissioner's been on. Wants you to call him.

ALEX:
I'll deal with Mickey.



MUSIC: 'Under Pressure' by Queen and David Bowie.

The whole interview with MICKEY DILLON is intercut with GENE on the telephone in his office, listening to a very unhappy sounding commissioner.

COMMISSIONER over the phone:
...on my desk with a newspaper headline that says 'Time to vet the met'. What's this all about, Hunt? I want the next thing I hear about you and your rotten department, is that you've made a decent collar.



Interview room; ALEX enters.

ALEX:
Where's Ray?

CHRIS:
Er, dunno.

ALEX sits down.

CHRIS:
Come on, Bungle, where's George?

MICKEY DILLON:
Stepney Cemetery. Where else would he be?



COMMISSIONER over the phone:
Results, Hunt, and good ones. If I smell even a whiff of funny business in this department again, I'll come down on you like a...



CHRIS:
You robbed the Drakes.

MICKEY DILLON:
I told you, I've never heard of them.

ALEX gets in touch with her inner Gene and loses her temper up close and personal to MICKEY DILLON.

ALEX:
Stop pissing us about, Mickey! If you don't cooperate with us, I swear to you I will personally see to it that your nuts get squeezed very tightly in a vice. So unless you want to end up with a voice like a Bee Gee, I suggest you start telling us the truth. Did you burgle the Drakes?

MICKEY DILLON:
No.

ALEX thumps the table in annoyance.

# Pressure #



COMMISSIONER over the phone:
...Hunt, so sort this mess out now.

# Pushing down on me #

COMMISSIONER over the phone:
I want a decent headline for the Met by Monday morning...

# Pressing down on you #

COMMISSIONER over the phone:
...or I'll have you and your...

# No man ask for #



ALEX:
Keep an eye on him, Chris.

ALEX leaves CHRIS alone with a smoking MICKEY DILLON.

# Under pressure
# That burns a building down
# Splits a family in two #

CHRIS:
Lowers your sperm count, it's been medically proven.

# Puts people on streets #

MICKEY DILLON:
I've got five kids.

CHRIS:
Sure they're all yours?

MICKEY DILLON laughs, then looks thoughtful.



CID. ALEX talks to SHAZ; GENE is pacing his office, telephone still clamped to his ear.

ALEX:
Shaz, where's Ray?

SHAZ:
Don't know, ma'am. Why?

ALEX:
I can't find him anywhere.

SHAZ:
Maybe gone off in a sulk? Him and Chris have been in a funny mood all day.

ALEX:
Is the Guv still on the phone to the Commissioner?

SHAZ:
Yeah. I don't know what's wrong with everyone. Chris shouted at me when I asked him what he was doing. I can't seem to do right for doing wrong.

ALEX:
Nicotine withdrawal.

SHAZ:
Oh. I thought he was just being a pain in the arse.



RAY is in the Gents, still filling out the Army Recruitment form. ALEX comes in. I say again - is it not supposed to be a Gentlemen's convenience?

ALEX:
Ray? What are you doing in here?

RAY:
I'm on a break.

ALEX:
Look, Mickey isn't giving anything away, and, er... I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I thought maybe you could persuade him?

RAY:
What's the point?

ALEX:
Ray, I know you're angry about Mac...

RAY:
You're bloody right I am. I looked up to him, we all did. Why? All he's done is piss on our reputation.

ALEX:
There are good honest families out there like the Drakes who need us.

RAY shakes his head, unconvinced, and turns away. ALEX sighs and leaves.

# 'Cos love's such an old fashioned word
# And love dares you to care for #



RAY has had a change of heart and arrives in the interview room.

# The people on the edge of the night
# And love dares you... #

CHRIS:
Stick his head down the bog again?

# ...to change our way of #

RAY:
Could do.

# Caring about ourselves #

RAY clutches his stomach theatrically.

RAY:
Ooo. Knew I shouldn't have had that chicken curry down the canteen.

CHRIS:
Lethal.

# This is our last dance #

MICKEY DILLON:
You wouldn't.

CHRIS:
He would.

# This is ourselves #

CHRIS gets up.

CHRIS:
Come on then.

MICKEY DILLON:
All right! All right.

# Under pressure
# Under pressure #

MICKEY DILLON:
I don't know nothing about the job on the Drakes. But what I do know is...

# Pressure #

MICKEY DILLON:
George ain't dead. He paid me to identify his body, 'cept it was some old tramp that had been burnt in a fire. George made sure his sovereign ring was found on the body. Told me he wanted to disappear to Spain. It's the last I saw of him.



GENE's finally off the phone and ALEX reports the gist of the interview to him.

ALEX:
The man who was buried was a tramp. Staines paid Mickey to identify him.

MICKEY DILLON is escorted out of the interview room by RAY and CHRIS.

GENE:
Good work, Raymondo.

RAY:
Cheers, Guv.

GENE:
We find Staines. I need this collar or the Commissioner going to have my bollocks in a blender.

ALEX:
If I may paraphrase Dorothy Parker, I don't think we should put all our eggs in one bastard.

GENE:
What other bastard have we got? We don't still think it's Mickey?

ALEX:
I dunno, but, er, there might be someone else in the frame now.

GENE:
Well, who is he?

ALEX:
She. Mickey says Staines went to Spain. Who do we know who had a Spanish boyfriend?

GENE:
Gaynor Mason.



Interview room.

GENE:
Pally with the Drake family, aren't you, Gaynor?

GAYNOR MASON:
Got to know them over months, yeah.

ALEX:
Got to know their comings and goings. Where they kept things in the house, like, er, Bryan Drake's wages.

GAYNOR MASON:
You're accusing me of stealing from Bryan?

GENE:
Or maybe you told George where the money was kept?

GAYNOR MASON:
George?

GENE:
As in George Staines.

GENE puts a photograph of George Staines on the table in front of GAYNOR MASON.

GENE:
Your 'Spanish' boyfriend.

GAYNOR MASON:
Hm. A dead gangster?

ALEX:
Mmm. Who mysteriously seems to have come back to life.

GAYNOR MASON:
Blimey. How'd he manage that?

GENE:
Don't piss us about, sweetheart. You've got a make-up round in his old stomping ground. He's been in Spain, you speak Spanish. The Drakes were burgled, you know the Drakes. Coincidence?

GAYNOR MASON:
In a word, yes.

GENE:
In a word, crap. Tell you what, what don't you mull it over for the night? In a cell.



CID; GENE and ALEX enter.

GENE:
I'm telling you, she knows something.

ALEX:
Yeah, maybe.

VIV arrives. He's bringing more messages that a medium on double time...

VIV:
A gentleman came in earlier, ma'am. Asked me to give you this.

VIV hands over a small card, such as might be attached to a bouquet of flowers.

ALEX:
What did he look like?

VIV:
Mid-fifties, smart suit, 'bout the same height as the Guv.

ALEX:
Did he leave a name?

VIV:
Boris Johnson.

VIV leaves. ALEX looks at the card, on which is written 'Luigi's. 22.15 X.'

GENE:
Boris Johnson? Friend of yours?

ALEX:
I dunno yet.



RAY has escorted GAYNOR MASON to a cell.

GAYNOR MASON:
Do I look like the sort of woman that hangs around gangsters?

RAY shuts the door and lights up, saying nothing.

GAYNOR MASON:
Is that a yes or a no? Is that all I'm going to get?

RAY:
Yeah.

GAYNOR MASON:
You're very tense, aren't you, DS Carling?

RAY:
Am I?

GAYNOR MASON:
Yeah. Like a coiled spring. Still, I s'pose it must be hard in your game. Having to play the tough man all the time. I bet beneath that hard shell of yours, there's a softer side people never see, eh?

RAY:
No.

GAYNOR MASON:
Can't kid a kidder. You're a bit like Clint Eastwood, aren't you?

RAY:
Am I?

GAYNOR MASON:
Yeah. Strong silent type. Brooding. The big hero.

RAY:
Days of coppers being seen as heroes, love, are gone. We're not even liked. In fact, we're hated by some.

GAYNOR MASON:
What d'you do instead?

RAY:
Join the army. Could be a Falklands again any time. They'll need good men like me.

GAYNOR MASON:
Yeah, but... a dead hero's no use to anyone, is he?

RAY looks a little thoughtful about that and leaves.



GENE is brooding over The Sun's headline again, but decides enough is enough and leaves his office. CID is still busy.

ALEX on the phone:
Yeah, it's Bryan Drake. It's Bryan with a 'Y'.

SHAZ heaps many, many packets of crisps on CHRIS' desk.

SHAZ:
You know, you're only replacing one vice with another one, baby.

CHRIS:
I'm not. No Bovril?

SHAZ:
No.

ALEX on the phone:
Bye. Bye.

ALEX hangs up.

GENE:
I want everyone in early tomorrow, working on the Staines case. I want my headline. Right, curry and a pint.

ALEX:
I'm busy tonight.

GENE:
You got a better offer?

ALEX:
Yeah, maybe.

GENE:
What, the older man? Boris Johnson? You'd better not keep him up too late, he'll be falling asleep into his cocoa. Or should that be his Molotov cocktail?

ALEX:
What?

GENE:
Well, he's Russian, isn't he?

ALEX:
No, he's English, as far as I know.

GENE:
Is it serious?

ALEX:
It could be, yeah.

GENE:
Right. Good. Well, have fun with Boris.

GENE leaves, accompanied by the green-eyed monster.



Luigi's and ALEX is waiting at a table for two for 'Boris'. After a while she notices another card underneath the basket of bread rolls and draws it out. On it is written 'Sorry I missed you X'



CID; largely in darkness and deserted as ALEX compiles a dossier on George Staines on the white board. MARTIN SUMMERS watches her through the doors, lights up a cigarette and then enters. ALEX scrabbles for her desk drawer and pulls her gun on him.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Hello, Alex.

ALEX:
Who are you?

MARTIN SUMMERS:
My name is Martin Summers.

ALEX:
You stay where you are.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Go ahead, shoot. Heh. Though I have to warn you, that you may be getting rid of the one person who can help you here. So, don't be scared.

ALEX:
You make intimidating phone calls, you send me roses like some sort of crazed stalker. You try and poison me. I shouldn't be scared?

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Well, I had to make sure you were the person I was looking for. And you are. There aren't a lot of people here from the other world. Apparently you and I are the only two.

ALEX:
Trying to spook me out with this.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
If I were to say to you, you've been shot in the head, you've just arrived at the hospital, and Molly is on her way to see you... would that help convince you?

ALEX:
Is that why you're here? To help me get home?

MARTIN SUMMERS:
You and I are the only two people here who actually know what that means. Ha ha ha ha. Still, it is a relief to talk about it, yes? As for helping you, well that depends.

MARTIN SUMMERS points to the white board.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Very clinical. Much easier... cross referencing DNA, I find though, don't you?

ALEX:
You're a cop.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Yes. Retired, and disgraced.

ALEX:
You know about Operation Rose. That's why you sent me the roses, isn't it

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Operation Rose could be your exit route.

ALEX:
It's about police corruption. Mac, he warned us about it.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Won't be pretty. But how much do you want to see your daughter again?

ALEX:
If you're so sure you can get me home, why are you still here?

MARTIN SUMMERS:
You're not the only one who's dying here, Alex. Mine is a very slow and painful death, but here... I can live the life I want. I could go back, but I don't want to. You, on the other hand, have a decision to make as to what you're willing to do, to have that chance.

ALEX:
You want me to be corrupt.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Think about it, Alex. In six months' time when Molly's face has faded from your memory, you'll begging me to help you. I haven't got much time to wait for an answer. And sadly... neither have you.

MARTIN SUMMERS leaves. Cheery bugger, isn't he?



ALEX waylays SHAZ in the station reception the following morning.

ALEX:
Shaz? Um, can I ask you a favour? Will you find out everything you can about a man called Martin Summers?

SHAZ:
He a suspect, ma'am?

ALEX:
Er, not exactly, no.

SHAZ:
A witness?

ALEX:
Er, not really, it's, um... I'm sorry to be vague, but it could be something really important to me.

SHAZ:
A matter of life or death?

ALEX:
Yeah, possibly.

SHAZ:
Blimey. Er, um, anything else to go on?

ALEX:
Er, he's a retired cop, mid-fifties?

SHAZ:
I'll see what I can find out.

ALEX:
Thanks, Shaz.

SHAZ leaves; GENE comes into reception where VIV is talking to ELSIE STAINES.

GENE:
Okay, Elsie.

ALEX:
Er, Guv!

GENE leaves ELSIE STAINES and goes over to ALEX.

ALEX:
She lied to us yesterday, what makes you think she won't lie to us again today?

GENE:
Who said she lied?

ALEX:
Oh, come on, Guv, she knew that money was in the biscuit tin.

GENE:
Elsie's not a sponger. She never took a penny from any of Staines' jobs. I'd lay you six to four she didn't even know the money was in there.

ALEX:
Well, why d'you call her in then?

GENE:
'Cos George thought the cock-eyed world of his mum. We keep her in here, he's going to start wondering where she is.

ALEX:
What about Gaynor Mason.

GENE:
Nothing. We'll have to let her go.

GENE walks back to ELSIE STAINES, followed by ALEX.

GENE:
You ready, Elsie, love?

ELSIE STAINES:
(to VIV) See you later.

VIV:
Okay, Elsie, and you, darling. You look after yourself.

GENE gives ELSIE STAINES his arm and escorts her down the corridor towards CID.

ELSIE STAINES:
Smashing lad, him. Lovely teeth.

GENE:
Lovely teeth. Now then, Elsie, you going to be a good girl and tell us where your naughty boy is then?

ELSIE STAINES:
You know where he is. Six feet under. You trying to send me ga-ga?

GAYNOR MASON, accompanied by RAY and CHRIS, appears at the opposite end of the corridor and walks past without a word.

ELSIE STAINES:
Oh, hello again, dear.

ALEX:
Elsie, how do you know Gaynor?

ELSIE STAINES:
Who?

ALEX:
The lady you just said hello to.

ELSIE STAINES:
Oh, she popped in yesterday for a cuppa. Said she was an old friend of George's.

GENE:
What are you two waiting for? Go get her back here, now.



Interview room.

GENE:
A word of advice, Blondie. Don't think about lying through those pearly whites again, or you'll be seeing me in your nightmares for the rest of your life.

GAYNOR MASON:
I wasn't lying.

GENE:
Bollocks. You knew Staines wasn't dead.

GAYNOR MASON:
He is dead. Least the George you knew. He isn't the man you think he is. He is trying to change.

GENE:
Rearrange the following words. Change, never, leopard, spots.

GAYNOR MASON:
I know he hurt people. I swear, I had no idea he was going to rob Marjorie and Bryan. I just... I couldn't believe it. I felt so bad for them.

ALEX:
But not bad enough that you couldn't come to us? How could you do that to him.

GAYNOR MASON:
I'm sorry.

GENE:
Where is he, Gaynor? You're not leaving here 'til you tell us.

GAYNOR MASON:
What's it worth?

ALEX:
We don't respond to bribery.

GAYNOR MASON:
I thought this was the Met? A grand.

GENE:
A grand? What are you? One of these alternative comedians? Meaning alternative to funny.

GAYNOR MASON:
All right, five hundred.

GENE:
A ton.

GAYNOR MASON:
Meet me halfway, Inspector.

GENE:
Okay.

ALEX:
Ugh.

GENE:
Get him to meet you at one of his old haunts. The Peacock boozer, Stepney.

GAYNOR MASON:
He doesn't go in for pubs as much as he used to.

GENE:
You just make sure he's there tonight, 7pm on the dot, and don't even think about doing a runner.

GAYNOR MASON:
In these heels?

GENE goes to leave.

GAYNOR MASON:
Haven't you forgotten something?

GENE:
Cash on delivery.



Gene's office.

GENE:
It's the perfect bloody get in, isn't it? Use a friendly blonde to case the joint for you and bingo. He's in.

ALEX:
How could she do that to them? She's supposed to be their friend, now Bryan's deaf for the rest of his life.

GENE:
You don't know that.

ALEX:
I do.

GENE:
Bolls, don't cry. That's an order.

ALEX:
I'm not.

GENE:
Now, if you don't stop crying, I might even start feeling sorry for you. And God forbid, I might even have to put a comforting arm around you.

ALEX:
Well, better stop then. If only I could have done something.

GENE:
Can't blame yourself.

ALEX:
Oh, you don't understand, do you? You can never understand. If I, if I'd remembered, then I could have stopped it.

GENE:
Listen to me, we have the public's faith in us going down faster than Linda Lovelace. If there's one thing that I can be sure of, it's that Gene Hunt will find this maggot and put him away 'til the end of his days. Come on, dry your eyes, Bolls. We've got scum to catch.

MUSIC: 'Food For Thought' by UB40



GENE and ALEX are in the Quattro watching GAYNOR MASON to go past on her way to The Peacock public house.

GENE into the radio:
Ray, Chris, she's on her way.

CHRIS over the radio:
Roger, Guv.



RAY and CHRIS are in a car in sight of the pub. RAY helpfully blows cigarette smoke at CHRIS.

RAY:
Heh heh heh. Go on, have one.

CHRIS:
No way. It's a filthy habit.

RAY:
Heh heh heh.

CHRIS:
I feel better for giving up. Fitter.

RAY:
This is a waste of time, this is. The Guv reckons that everything will be all hunky dory if we get Staines. I reckon it's too late. Rot's set in.

CHRIS:
We can't let him get off with it, can we? We're coppers, we catch criminals. It's what we do best.

GENE over the radio:
Ray, is she there yet?

RAY:
No, not yet, Guv.

GENE over the radio:
Chris, check inside the pub. See if she's in there, or Staines. Ray, check down the streets.

RAY:
Will do. Over.



Back at the Quattro and ALEX is indulging in a told-you-so tone of voice.

ALEX:
She reeled you in.

GENE:
She can't have just vanished. She'll show.

ALEX:
Hook, line and sinker.

RAY appears in the distance and whistles to attract their attention, gesturing for them to come.

GENE:
Oh, Jesus.



GAYNOR MASON in lying on the pavement with a head wound.

RAY:
Just found her lying here.

ALEX:
Is she still breathing?

RAY:
Think so.

RAY prods a rock lying on the ground next to her with his foot.

RAY:
Clouted with that.

CHRIS kneels down to check her pulse.

ALEX:
I should have kept a closer eye on her.

CHRIS:
Yeah, there's a pulse.

RAY:
Looks like Staines found her before we did. Must have twigged that she was setting him up.

GENE:
George Staines is a vicious bastard, so why didn't he finish her off?

RAY:
Maybe he thought he had?

GENE:
Which means he's still out there somewhere. Right, when the ambulance gets here, you two can accompany Goldilocks here to the hospital.

RAY:
Right, Guv.

SHAZ over the radio:
Ma'am?

ALEX into the radio:
Drake.

SHAZ over the radio:
Just had a call for you, ma'am. Thought you might want to hear this?



The Drakes' house. BRYAN DRAKE is sitting doing a crossword, a large dressing on his head.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Discharged himself. He never did like hospitals. The doctors say his hearing may come back in time. Stay positive, isn't that what they say?

ALEX:
Yeah. Hello, Bryan.

MARJORIE DRAKE hands ALEX an envelope.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
It came in the afternoon post. I've only just opened it. We haven't long been back from the hospital.

GENE takes the envelope from ALEX and opens it to reveals a wad of five pound notes. Why don't I get post like that...?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
It's five hundred pounds.

ALEX:
Was there a note?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Nothing.

GENE:
Gaynor.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
What's Gaynor got to do with this?

GENE:
Well, we think she might have had something to do with the robbery, love.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Gaynor?

ALEX:
Er, where's Peter?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
In his room. Think he's a bit shaken by it all actually. He won't say, you know what lads are.

ALEX:
Yeah. Er, would you like me to have a chat?

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Would you?

ALEX:
Yeah.

ALEX leaves and goes upstairs to PETER DRAKE's room. He's doodling the name 'Suzie' on a notepad when she knocks.

MUSIC: 'Temptation' by New Order.

# Oh, you've got green eyes
# Oh, you've got blue eyes
# Oh, you've got grey eyes #

ALEX;
Can I come in?

# And I've never seen anyone quite like you before
# No, I've never... #

ALEX sits on the bed and it creaks ominously.

ALEX:
I'd forgotten it did that. Um...

# ...met anyone quite like you before #

ALEX leans against something on the other side of the room instead.

ALEX:
Who's Suzie? Your girlfriend?

PETER DRAKE:
Kind of. I can't work her out sometimes.

ALEX:
You just have to remember the basics really. Like, er, if she's in a really bad mood 'cos she's got PMT, you don't say that she's in a really bad mood 'cos she's got PMT. Oh, and if you ever go driving across France with her and you run out of petrol and you break down and you're stuck in the pissing rain for bloody hours, do not blame her map reading skills.

There's a slightly awkward silence. ALEX looks round the room and her eye falls on something.

ALEX:
Where'd you get the money to buy dope?

PETER DRAKE:
I don't smoke it.

ALEX:
Yeah. I've seen you. I know where you keep it.

ALEX picks up a box and looks inside.

PETER DRAKE:
Don't go, don't go in...

ALEX:
What's this necklace doing here? Was this the one your mum...? This is the necklace that was stolen. Is this the bad thing you did, when you were a teenager? You're thief!

PETER DRAKE makes a bolt for it. ALEX and GENE chase him along the street but he disappears and they come to a halt, gasping for breath.

ALEX:
It's him. He is the thief.

GENE:
What?

ALEX:
How did the money get back to his parents' house? What's he doing with his mum's stolen necklace? Where's he get the money from to buy weed? He's too bloody lazy to get a job!

GENE:
He's only fourteen.

ALEX:
No, he'd rather lay around in bed all day, working on the novel that only exists in his head.

GENE:
Have you been at the gin?

ALEX:
You don't know what he's like. He's untrustworthy, two-timing, two-faced, spineless, selfish little shit.

RAY over the radio:
Guv.

GENE into the radio:
What?

RAY over the radio:
You'd better come down the hospital.

GENE:
Come on.



GAYNOR MASON is lying unconscious in a hospital bed, head bandaged.

GENE:
Well?

CHRIS:
Seems there's more to Gaynor Mason than meets the eye, Guv.

CHRIS lifts up the bedclothes.

CHRIS:
'Bout six inches more.

GENE:
Sweet jumping Jesus.



Hospital corridor.

GENE:
I have seen a woman from Hazel Grove put gerbils somewhere a gerbil should never go. I've seen a bloke from Billericay balance a budgerigar on his Hampton Wick, but I have never, ever seen anything like that before.

GENE takes a steadying swig from his hip flask and passes it to his equally shaken sidekicks. ALEX is amused.

RAY:
I just don't get it. The top half, I mean those melons, they were the real deal, but down the old goal end...

CHRIS:
A bloody great big knob. It's like something out of a German porn film. Apparently.

ALEX:
It's gender reassignment. It's a sex change but he's only had half the op.

RAY:
He must have had the surgery to the face done at the same time, 'cos you just wouldn't know him.

ALEX:
Well, you didn't, did you?

CHRIS:
I mean, who'd put themselves through all that pain?

ALEX:
Just you wait, boys. Before you know it you'll all be asking for a back, crack and sack.

GENE:
Is that yuppie speak for Rice Krispies?

RAY:
I mean, whatever next? Norman Hunter dresses up in frilly frocks? Geoff Capes starts playing with Barbie dolls? Elton John fancies blokes? I don't get it.

CHRIS:
So, down below he was going to have it, er...

CHRIS does a snipping gesture.

ALEX:
Well, actually, what they do is they tuck it up inside...

BOYS in Pained Unison:
Oh.

ALEX:
Well, he certainly caught the attention of you three. You all eyed him up.

GENE:
Bloody rubbish.

CHRIS:
No way.

RAY:
No, we never.

ALEX:
Bollocks.

A NURSE comes out of the ward.

NURSE:
She's awake.

ALEX:
Guv, er... she's mid reassignment. Maybe I should deal with it? Could be... sensitive.

GENE:
Sometimes your lack of faith in me seriously disappoints, DI Drake.



GAYNOR MASON is woken by GENE violently shaking the headboard.

GENE:
Wake up, Gloria.

GAYNOR MASON:
Oh, God.

GENE:
So when were you going to say toodle-oo to the old todger then?

GAYNOR MASON:
Where am I?

GENE:
In about six feet of very brown stuff.



GAYNOR MASON is sitting up on the end of the bed while GENE harangues her, ALEX looking on in disapproval.

GENE:
You'd better start talking or you'll be saying goodbye to your gonads sooner than you think, Staines.

GAYNOR MASON:
I'll only talk if you call me by my name. Gaynor.

GENE:
Why the hell should I when you're still half George? Still the same thieving scumbag you always were.

GAYNOR MASON:
I'm not. I changed, I told you.

GENE:
Bollocks. Once a scrote, always a scrote. It's in your genes.

ALEX sighs.

ALEX:
Guv.

GENE:
Come on, George, be a good boy. Start talking.

GAYNOR MASON:
Not until you call me by my name. Gaynor.

GENE:
I'll call you what I damn well want, you gender-bender, weirdy-beardy freak of nature.

GAYNOR MASON knees GENE in the family jewels and legs it.

GENE:
Aargh!

MUSIC: 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go' by The Clash.

# Should I stay or should I go now #

RAY and CHRIS give chase in the corridor, but the door is locked and GAYNOR MASON has to double back.

# Should I stay or should I go now
# If I go there will be trouble #

GAYNOR MASON elbows RAY aside but CHRIS has the wit to knee her in that which she shouldn't have and she's going nowhere.

GAYNOR MASON:
Ooo. Ahhh.

# And if I stay it will be double
# So come on and let me know
# Should I stay or should I go #

GENE staggers out into the corridor and other patients and medical staff look on in surprise.

GENE:
What?



GAYNOR MASON is back in her hospital bed.

GAYNOR MASON:
I needed the money to pay for the rest of the op.

ALEX:
Where did you have the breast augmentation?

GAYNOR MASON:
Spain. But they ripped me off.

GENE:
What, only gave you one tit?

GAYNOR MASON:
Upped the price. Said they'd tell the authorities if I didn't pay more.

ALEX:
Why did you have to hurt Bryan?

GAYNOR MASON:
It was a mistake. Him and Marjorie weren't meant to be there. I was just desperate for the money, for the op. To be the person I always knew I was.

GENE:
So, er, why did you come back to the Drakes'?

GAYNOR MASON:
I knew I'd left me dabs there. Marjorie asked me to look after Peter, then I was stuck. I don't blame him for what he did.

ALEX:
What did he do?

GAYNOR MASON:
He saw me wearing his mum's necklace. Chased after him. He thought I was going to attack him, so he picked up a brick. I felt a thud on the back of me head, next thing I'm in here.

ALEX:
Why did you go and see Elsie?

GAYNOR MASON:
Say goodbye. When I saw her, I felt bad. Bent over with rheumatism, still struggling to make ends meet.

ALEX:
So you left her the money in the tin.

GAYNOR MASON:
Promise me one thing. Don't tell her the truth. It'd break her heart.

GENE:
You, my little tranny friend, are in no position to make demands. Sending scum like you down, might restore the public's faith in us a little bit. Ray, cuff him. Her.



GENE and ALEX leave.

ALEX:
So, you going to tell Elsie?

GENE:
No choice.



CHRIS:
Wonder if this counts as one arrest or two?

CHRIS laughs and leaves RAY to put on the cuffs.

GAYNOR MASON:
Sorry, Ray.

RAY:
It's DS Carling.

GAYNOR MASON:
Decided yet?

RAY:
On what?

GAYNOR MASON:
The army?

RAY:
No. Not yet.

GAYNOR MASON:
You'd be a hell of a loss to the police.

RAY:
Buttering me up is not going to stop me putting these on you. So forget it.

GAYNOR MASON:
I mean it. I want to go to sleep at night knowing that there's cops like you, helping keep good people like my mum safe. Besides, khaki's not your colour.

CHRIS returns bearing garibaldis.

CHRIS:
Why's your face all red?

RAY:
'Cos it's hot in here.



ELSIE STAINES' living room. The fire still blazes. No, I don't know why Gene doesn't take his coat off either.

GENE:
Why did you give the Drake family that five hundred quid?

ELSIE STAINES:
What five hundred quid?

GENE:
The five hundred quid that was in that tin.

ELSIE STAINES:
Was there?

GENE:
Must have been a bit of a shock finding all that money in there, eh?

ELSIE STAINES:
I'll say- I've no idea how it got there. But when you told me about that poor Bryan Drake, and I read about it in the papers, I, well, I felt sorry for him.

GENE:
You could have kept it for yourself and had a holiday in the Bahamas.

ELSIE STAINES:
'Cept it wasn't mine, was it? Anyway, what do I want to go to the bleeding Be-hamas for? Can't take the heat, me.

MUSIC: 'Speed of Life' by David Bowie.



ALEX visits PETER DRAKE in his room again.

ALEX:
Why didn't you tell me what had happened? Instead of running away like that?

PETER DRAKE:
'Cos I thought I'd be in big trouble. I could have killed her. I thought I had. You won't say anything?

ALEX:
Well, technically you've assaulted someone.

PETER DRAKE:
Will I go to jail?

ALEX:
Possibly. And you'll probably end up sharing a cell with a great big bloke covered in scars and tattoos who'll call you his bitch.

PETER DRAKE is naturally worried by this vision of his future.

ALEX;
I'm just kidding. It depends.

PETER DRAKE:
On what?

ALEX:
Will you promise me something?

PETER DRAKE:
Okay.

ALEX:
You look after your mum and dad.

PETER DRAKE:
I will.

ALEX:
Good. And be really nice to whoever you end up with. Whether it's Suzie or a girl called Alex. Be especially nice to her.

PETER DRAKE:
Right...

ALEX:
Yeah, spoil her rotten. Flowers, chocolates, Jimmy Choos.

PETER DRAKE looks blank.

ALEX:
Shoes. And look after Molly, that's really important. It's never too late, Peter.

MUSIC: 'Just The Two Of Us' by Grover Washington Jr and Bill Withers.

# Just the two of us #

ALEX leaves.

# We can make it if we try #

KITTEN:
Miaow.

# Just the two of us
# (Just the two of us)
# Just the two of us
# Building castles in the sky
# Just the two of us #

ALEX arrives downstairs.

ALEX:
Bye, Marjorie.

# You and I #

ALEX;
Everything'll be all right.

MARJORIE DRAKE:
Thank you.

ALEX hugs MARJORIE DRAKE, who's no less confused than she was at the start, poor woman.

# We look for love
# No time for tears
# Wasted water's all that is
# And it don't make no flowers grow
# Good things might come to those who wait
# Not to those who wait too late
# We got to go for all we know #

ALEX leaves the house and looks up at a tap on the window.

# Just the two of us #

PETER DRAKE makes one of those game show host kinds of finger gun/winking signs. ALEX turns away.

# We can make it if we try
# Just the two of us #

ALEX:
Creep.

# (Just the two of us) #



CID and the day is winding down.

CHRIS:
It's an easy mistake to make. I mean, that Boy George, he looks like a woman.

SHAZ:
Yeah, you fancied him before I told you.

CHRIS:
I did not.

SHAZ:
Did.

Chuckles from CHRIS' caring colleagues.

CHRIS:
Drop it, Shaz!

ALL:
Whooo.

CHRIS:
Shut it, you.

SHAZ goes over to CHRIS' desk and places a bank note on it.

CHRIS:
What's that for?

SHAZ:
Fags.

CHRIS:
Could buy nearly five packs with that.

SHAZ:
I know. Get five. Get ten, get twenty. I don't care. But please, please, start smoking again. 'Cos I can't take much more of you being a whinging nark!

CHRIS:
I haven't been a whinging nark, have I?

SHAZ:
Yes.

RAY chuckles.

SHAZ:
Now, come on. We should be just in time for the flicks.

CHRIS:
What we seeing?

SHAZ:
Tootsie.

RAY sniggers. SHAZ stops to speak to ALEX on her way out.

SHAZ:
By the way, ma'am, there wasn't any record of that Summers bloke. Not with the information you gave. There's nothing. Sorry.

ALEX:
No. Well there wouldn't be, would there? I mean, he's not supposed to be here, like me. Thanks anyway, Shaz.

SHAZ:
No problem, ma'am. Have a good night.

ALEX:
You too.

CHRIS:
Night, ma'am.

CHRIS and SHAZ leave CID.

CHRIS:
What's that all about?

SHAZ:
I ain't got a clue.



CID is deserted as ALEX steps into Gene's office.

GENE:
You know, I thought I knew it all, Bolls. Now I'm beginning to wonder. Maybe I know the square root of jack shit.

ALEX:
Is this where I'm s'posed to disagree with you?

GENE:
It's just my luck. I could retire on this. Be known as the bloke who collared George Stains when all around failed.

ALEX:
Still could.

GENE:
What, and break his mum's heart? It's not her fault she loves him.

ALEX:
What did you tell her?

GENE:
Gaynor Mason's been arrested for the robbery.

ALEX:
'Course you did. Which is why George Staines never gets sent down. Damn you, Gene Hunt.

GENE:
Why? What have I done now?

ALEX:
Because despite all the macho put-downs, the insults, the pathetic sexist sideswipes, underneath it all you are a... You're a good, kind, decent man.

GENE:
Keep your voice down, somebody might hear.

ALEX:
I'm going to buy you a very large drink.

GENE:
You seen Boris again?

ALEX:
No. Why? You jealous?

GENE:
Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart.

MUSIC: 'Embarrassment' by Madness.



Luigi's. RAY comes up to ALEX at the bar.

RAY:
Luigi, put that on my tab. (to ALEX) I owe you one anyway.

ALEX:
What for?

RAY:
For not saying anything to the Guv about me going AWOL.

ALEX:
All right. I accept. On one condition.

RAY:
What?

ALEX:
Stay.

RAY looks away.

ALEX:
I saw you filling out the form. You posted it?

RAY:
Not yet. I need a referee.

RAY gets the form out of his pocket.

ALEX:
Will I do?

RAY:
Guess so.

ALEX:
Right.

ALEX rips up the form and hands it back to RAY.

ALEX:
There. Now you have to stay.

RAY:
Haven't got much bloody choice, have I? You're not such a bad copper, you know.

ALEX:
Thanks, Ray.

RAY:
For a bird.

RAY leaves the bar. MARTIN SUMMERS enters and the noise of the restaurant fades. ALEX gets up to speak to him, GENE watching from his corner.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
Well, Alex? D'you have an answer for me?

ALEX:
I know you could be my only chance of getting back. And you know how much I miss my daughter, I would do anything to see her again. But what you want me to do, what you want me to be is corrupt and dishonest. I'm sorry, but I simply can't. And so the answer is thanks, but no thanks. I don't know how, but I'll find my own way back.

MARTIN SUMMERS:
I had a feeling you were going to say something like that. Hmm. Oh, well, if I can't change your mind, maybe Operation Rose will.

MARTIN SUMMERS leaves.

MUSIC: 'The Man Who Sold The World' by David Bowie.

# Oh no, not me #

ALEX sees a single red rose left on one of the tables.

# I never lost control
# You're face to face
# With the man who sold the world #

ALEX returns to the bar, where LUIGI hands her a paper napkin to dry her tears.

LUIGI:
You think you did the right thing, Signorina Drake?

ALEX:
I think so, Luigi.

ALEX looks across at GENE.

# I laughed and shook his hand... #

Credits.

# ...and made my way back home
# I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed
# I gazed a gazely stare at all the millions here
# We must have died alone, a long long time ago #